The gods are weird (and I am not necessarily a good person)

For some reason, gods keep approaching me. Or maybe there is no reason for this, maybe they are approaching everybody and I am just more used to listening to the voices in my head.

Some time ago, we were in a tight financial spot. Again. You all know this place, I guess. And Wotan made an appearance and offered me help for a favor. Five minutes later, I found a minor money bill on the street, and no one in sight who could have lost it. It was not a big amount, still about 10% of our weekly grocery bill. I kept it and put out some whisky and dark chocolate for him that night.

Yesterday while I was out to meet a friend (and while we are still in a tight spot, christmas and all), I found a nifty set of pens lying on the street, in a leather case, and Wotan was asking for another favor. I picked it up, looked around - no one to see. There was a sticker with a phone number on the back. Since I was late, I put it in my pocket and hurried to meet my friend.

We went to a nearby café, chatting about all the things that had happened since our last meeting, and all the time I kept trying to decide what to do. They were really nifty pens, and the leather case looked well-used and well-cared for. I love nifty pens. And then I imagined losing my favorite fountain pen, the one the BF gave me so I would have a great pen to sign my books.

When I came home, the first thing I did was call the number on the back. The guy the pens belong to had not even realized he had lost them, and he sounded really happy about the call. Today, after work, I am going to head to the guy's work place and drop them off. Still, I left some whisky and dark chocolate out for Wotan. It was a generous and tempting offer, even though I decided not to accept it.

Is it strange that I had to think about whether or not to return them? I don't know. I am not necessarily a good person, and I am convinced the only thing good people can be sure about is that, as soon as they bend over to help someone get up again, someone else will sneak up behind them to f*** them. Knowing that I am not a good person is an important lesson. The other important lesson, for me, is that we do have free will, and do not have to follow the gods with anything.I am curious to find out what will come from it.

You know what they say. No good deed goes unpunished.


******* Update *********

Just so you know, I really did return the pens. Was almost run over by a cab while at the guy's workplace. I hope that is all the "good karma" coming out of this. ^^ [/gallow's humor]