The BF and I have been discussing gifts for our families these last few days.
My family does not necessarily give gifts anymore, we send cards and talk on the phone. Still, if I find something that makes me think of them, or if there is something I want to share, I will send them some. Usually the monetary value of such a gift is no more than 10, maybe 15 bucks. Last year they got a selection of my favorite recipes, hand-printed and with comments and place for notes, in a folder. I think the monetary value was less than five bucks, including postage. But who cares? I heard back from several of the recipients just how much they loved it, and I plan on adding an "update" to the collection this year, if I have got the time to write some of the new recipes up. Apart from that, they will all get an anthology with one of my stories inside - that's the kind of "handmade" gift I am best with. My creative abilities outside of writing pretty much suck. ^^
My younger sister is great at making homemade stuff, and will mostly be giving out homemade lotions and soaps and shower gels and such. I know our father got a "one soap/month" prescription from her this year so he could try out all the scents she makes, and his girlfriend stores the unused soap bars between the fresh laundry to scent it.
My mother loves knitting, and regularly sends out colorful socks. They are incredibly warm and look great, and our tomcat loves the scent of the socks - he always steals a pair and runs off with it. So, everybody's happy. She also makes homemade walnut liquor every now and again, or coffee liquor. Some of the mare great, some less, but I know she hand-picks everything she sends us for birthdays etc. with great care, and that is what makes these gifts so great for me.
The BF is okay with having a homemade gift for his mother (a hand-painted mug and some luxury cocoa), but he is afraid the wife of his brother will think us "cheap" if we give them homemade stuff. (I cannot talk about the things I am planning to make, since other people who may be reading here may be getting something similar.) And after a few days of back and forth with this discussion, I am really fed up with it.
Why does he have to join this madness? Why does he have to worry about what others will think of us based on the gifts we decide to give them? I mean, if we decide to give anything, they should be grateful. And I actually put lots of work and thought into the presents I make (similar to the efforts I make with the cards, see earlier post). Would they be any better if I attached a hefty price tag? We may settle on a compromise - something "valuable" for both of them, and some hand-made items, just so everybody can be okay with it. But still...
Gifts are not about making the recipient rich in stuff - they are about adding love and happiness to their life. And if it takes "X amount of money" for them to be happy with a gift, then sorry, I'd rather just not participate.
9 Kommentare:
I absolutely agree with you. It is really hard to get excited about gift giving if you think that you're being judged. My grandchildren get everything under the sun during the holidays and so I don't feel that I can "compete." One year I decided to "adopt" an elephant for them and that didn't go over well either - so much for being creative. I'm kind of fed up with the whole gift giving thing. I actually think it's time we all give up on that craziness and just enjoy the time of year and time spent together in person or on the phone.
I'm with you all the way on this one. Gifts should be about the thought and the love, not about how much it cost.
And Aine, I think adopting an elephant was a brilliant idea.
Couldn't agree with you more, Diandra. For the past couple of years, I have been spending less and less money on gifts as we simply can not afford it with only one and a half incomes at this time (thanks to our economy here in the good old US of A), so I have been putting a lot more thought into my homemade gifts and such. I am okay with some crafty things (so long as they do not take too much time)like crocheting scarfs, afgans, etc. and my wreaths, etc. But, I am hardly what you would call a "Becky Homeky" type and I don't do very much cooking or baking normally (but I am getting better)!
Kim
A person who thinks that homemade is 'cheap' is a person without one creative thought in their head & an equal amount of creativity in their bones. As such they focus merely on the shallow. Pity. For myself, I give books on Christmas..not as well thought out as homemade, but i do consider dis/likes & don't buy merely because they made it to the top 10 of the NY Times book list!
We don't do gifts anymore, either. My mother is the materialistic one. Thankfully, no one else really is. She thinks I'm the cheapest person on the planet. She's probably right. ;)
It the thought that count. Thing are tight do to the economy. I notice sometime the five dollar gifts actual make a bigger hit then the higher end ones.
I have similar concerns. I intend to make a bunch of homemade gifts. I want to mostly bake and make some wreaths, aromatherapy candles, bath bombs etc, but the thing is that noone else really does that. I would love it if someone got into all that trouble for me, but i am not sure people will feel this way.
I caved! I bought my mom a pendulum, my dad a shaving cream with essential oils and cotton and my husband a wallet.
I could n't. My mom bought me a bunch of stuff. I lost my wedding ring and my dad was going to replace it and my husband was going to pay for a tattoo i am getting. I will still do a few handmade gifts and baked goods, but i could n't know that they were giving me a bunch of expensive things and give them scented candles and a cake. I would feel so bad!
The thought should be enough. But i could n't help it! Every year i say this won't happen and i end up doing it all over again.
At least all my friends and rest of family are getting handmade stuff. That's something right?
We are broke this year, so handmade gifts are what is going on, either that or some lovely Christmas cards. I don't care what people think, that is what we can afford and it really is from the heart. My in-laws are weird about gifts and whatnot too. This is the first year since my hubby and I have been together that we can't afford a 'normal Christmas', so I think we are entitled.
"Gifts are not about making the recipient rich in stuff - they are about adding love and happiness to their life." I love the idea of your Christmas, it is completely right on!
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